If you're asking how to support my child in sport, here's the short answer from the coaching side: protect them less. Let them face hard sessions, heavy loads, bad games and the fear that comes with them, and don't rush in to smooth it over. The parents who help most are the ones who back their kid, keep the house calm, and let the work do the rest.
Watch: the video this post comes from
I know that's hard to hear. Let me explain where it comes from.
The safety net that slows them down
You raised this kid from birth. I get it. I see it. I love that bond.
But that emotional side, as strong as it is, can stop their growth. Most parents don't do it loudly. They do it quietly. They act as a safety net.
They protect their kid from more volume. From high-intensity work. From getting under the bar and lifting a heavier load. From taking on more sessions when it's time to grow. The things that are hard, the things that create fear, are exactly the things that make an athlete grow.
Every time we step in and smooth over a tough spot, we make them a little less independent. We slow down their ability to learn, adjust and adapt.
Why independence matters so early
In the corporate world, a career starts in your twenties. In sport it doesn't. Athletes make their debut in the adult game at 16 and 17. By then they have to stand on their own two feet.
If they're not independent, they won't last at the highest level. It isn't just competitive, it's super competitive.
So the next time you feel the urge to step in, pause and ask yourself one question:
Am I helping them become independent and tough, or am I stopping them from getting what they need?
How to support my child in sport: what actually helps
Let them be tough
Toughness wins in the long run. It's the athlete who keeps trying, faces rejection, gets up and goes again. Getting picked on at training, injuries, losing streaks, not being picked. The tough ones keep going.
Think of a driven salesperson, in the good way. A "no" doesn't stop them. A bad game doesn't stop them. It's a volume game, and the one who lasts the longest wins.
Don't be an ultra realist
A lot of parents who have never been to the top use general statistics. "Most kids don't make it." Low-level coaches say it too. I had coaches like that as a kid, and I still think about it.
Here's the thing. If you're going to be great, you can't measure yourself against general statistics. Greatness is rare. It isn't general. If you compare your child to the average, you'll get the average. Does that make sense?
I actually love the kid who thinks he's the exception. If he does the work and already backs himself, all we have to do is give him a ladder to climb.
Keep the house calm when the number drops
Some weeks the time is worse than last week. That happens to everyone. Fatigue is normal.
The athletes who fall apart over it are the most anxious ones. And that anxiety almost always comes from their environment: the club, the people around them, and sometimes the parents. If the house is always worried and fearful, it trickles down.
Your job is to stay steady. A bad number is information, not a disaster. Recovery of the nervous system takes time, and the body comes back stronger after it. You can read more on that in why your legs feel fresh but your nervous system isn't.
Teach them to own it
When an athlete gets dropped, benched or cut, the ones who come back are the ones who blame themselves, not the coach or the referee. "I wasn't ready. I wasn't set up." That sounds harsh, but it's the start of action. Once you own it, you start looking for the fix, and looking leads to change.
What we ask of parents and athletes
We're not a daycare. We're not here to babysit. We're here to develop athletes, and the goal is world class.
So here's what we need from your child, and how you can help:
- ✓Turn up on time, every session. The first minutes of an assessment tell me a lot. The athletes who step on the line dialled in move better than the ones who turn up switched off.
- ✓Do the work between sessions. "I didn't have time" is the excuse I hear most. Thirty minutes a day is enough. You don't break the whole rock in one go. You chip a piece off every day, and over two, three, four years the whole rock is gone.
- ✓Send the videos and the numbers. Every week, athletes send us their videos and we send back feedback and the next progression. The first sign an athlete won't make it isn't a bad session. It's when they stop sending their numbers.
- ✓Act fast. The fastest change I've seen came from the athlete who acted on feedback the quickest. He wrote it down, and he did it the next day.
You can help with every one of those without stepping in. Drive them there on time. Give them the 30 minutes. Remind them to send the videos. Then let them do the hard part themselves. Right?
The bigger picture
Supporting a young athlete well isn't about carrying them. It's about building an environment where hard work is normal, a bad day is no big deal, and progress is measured instead of guessed.
That's why everything we do is measured. Every session is timed and reviewed on film, so you and your child can both see what's moving, and nobody has to guess. If you want to see where your child stands right now, the assessment is the place to start. And if you're wondering whether early talent matters more than all of this, read can you get faster or is speed genetic.